We deride, scoff at, or worship things we do not understand

Human nature makes us try to make the unfamiliar feel safe. Lightning is the vengeance of the gods; sudden recovery from appalling illness is divine intervention; bisexuality is just plain greedy.

We do. Think about it for a moment. We do.

We even do the maths on bisexuality. We use Kinsey's oft misquoted 10% as the basis:

• Heterosexuals get to partner with 45% of the population
• Homosexuals only get 5%
• Bisexuals get the 45% of the opposite sex, plus the 5% who like the same sex. Dammit they get 50%, a whole 45% uplift on the gay folk, and 5% on the straight folk

Damn, those bisexuals are greedy. They have it both ways.

Right, that's the jokes done. And yes, the joke is in bad taste. It's to make a point, so get over it.

Confession time.

I don't understand bisexuality. I'm homosexual, 30 years into a heterosexual marriage with a very beautiful woman, and we adore each other. We have a full marriage in all senses of the word, but I am homosexual, not even a smidgen bisexual. My wife is a glorious exception-event.  So I truly do not understand bisexuality.

I have been known to deride. I admit it. I'm sure I will deride again. I'm human, and, even if I try not to I have a suspicion, because I do not understand, that bisexuality is an inability to face up to homosexuality. I know that's wrong, but there is a point to confessing it. It certainly isn't a hate crime to confess it, nor to blog about it. I'm not promoting my inner feelings, I'm using them to make a point, and the point is against myself.

A few years ago I had to come out at work as a gay man. I was being victimised by my manager and was struggling to save my job. I had to tell friends, colleagues and Human Resources (I so hate that term) that I am a gay man. It affected the outcome of the disciplinary process in a positive manner because it was directly relevant to the charges.

I found that hard to do despite a full equal opportunities policy and a sound set of working practices. I felt it was a piece of personal information too far. I was not then ready to be out. And today I received a press release that made me sit up and take notice.

Bisexual employees feel excluded from support networks by lesbian and gay colleagues

Stonewall today publishes findings to help employers to support bisexual employees and develop bisexual inclusive policy and procedures. Bisexual People in the Workplace, supported by the Home Office, shows how the experience of bisexual staff is often distinct from lesbian and gay employees and what employers can do to address this. One finding is that lesbian, gay and bisexual employee network groups often exclude bisexuals.

Bisexual People in the Workplace highlights the difficulties bisexual employees face when trying to be out in the workplace. It also includes recommendations based on good practice currently being developed by some of the 500 employer members of Stonewall’s Diversity Champions Programme.

Bisexual employees, like all staff, perform better when they can be themselves. For many bisexual employees it can be difficult to be open about their sexual orientation – particularly if they don’t feel that their employee network is supportive of bisexual staff,’ says David Shields, Stonewall Director of Workplace Programmes. ‘There are a number of practical actions employers can take to include bisexual staff at work. By making workplaces more inclusive everyone benefits and employers can make the most of the talent they have.’

The leaflet can be downloaded from the Stonewall site, and individual copies of the 24 page booklet can be ordered from Stonewall on 08000 50 20 20 (UK toll free number) [or on +44 (0)20 7593 1868, but why get them to spend money; they;re a charity. Download the thing.].

That made me think. If it's hard to come out as gay, how much harder is it to come out as bisexual. At the time of my having to come out my job was in a corporation with a salesforce whose average age was 28, who were hard drinking, hard womanising, macho laddish men. They could cope with a gay colleague, kind of. They would have found a bi colleague hard to handle. How hard would the bi colleague have found them to work with?

And, if it had turned into workplace bullying, not at all hard to see happen in that raw meat feeding frenzy style of environment, who would have been the one who had to leave? And would that have turned into a constructive dismissal hearing?

It's costly not getting your equal opportunities policy into the mindset of the staff. It can't just be a Human Resources resource.