I really dislike the door to door marketing of God

I know one might say "To each his own", but my "own" is to be left in peace when I'm working and not disturbed by some damned missionary who is marketing god and Jesus in an effort to save his own measly soul.

I do not have imaginary friends.

The missionary does.

Some time ago I found a marvellous cartoon based upon The Gospel of Mark, chapter 16, verses 17 and 18:

"These are the signs that will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; even if they drink any deadly poison it will not hurt them; and they will place their hands on the sick, and they will recover."

I never realised the significance of this before.  So, when a god botherer came to my door just now, I used it.

He asked if he could share come good words from the bible and waved it under my nose.  I said to him. "I need you to prove to me that you are a Christian first.  Are you familiar with Mark 16:17-18?"

He was not, but he turned to it.  I explained that we had a shortage of demons, snakes or sick people, but that I was interested in his proving it by drinking deadly poison, and asked him to wait while I went to get a mug of bleach.  I explained that I'd be very happy to talk to him after he had proved to me according to Mark that he was a Christian.

He looked rather cross, made some excuse about this allegedly not being in the original text of the gospel, and left in a hurry.  Wisely he never tested his faith by letting me go and get the bleach.  It worked like a charm.  That cartoon was right!

I've never liked door to door selling and marketing, but door to door marketing of god for the purely selfish reason of saving their souls while pretending to save mine is not something I have ever liked.

I wonder if he'll tell his friends.  Not the imaginary ones, the real ones.