Buying Furniture and the Art of Customer Service

I was thinking, when I wrote the headline, of "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance", but it was so long ago that I read it that I'm afraid I'll misquote.

I have recently refurnished my living room and dining room. Those who have done the same thing will appreciate precisely how much stress is involved just in the purchase. They will also know about the shoddy mass produced trash that can be delivered.

Next are currently living up to their name. I am on my Next sideboard (awaiting the fourth) and my Next dining table (awaiting the third), and I have had many pleasant conversations with India trying to co-ordinate collections and deliveries. It seems I need to keep the packaging - hard to store that much cardboard. Their call centres are not up to the job,and promises have been broken.

John Lewis have excelled themselves. This is usual. Despite myriad problems with the pair of chairs they delivered they have never lost sight of my needs. They've told me how many (16) chairs they've returned to the manufacturer because of poor quality. Six of these have been "mine", all signed off for quality in Sweden by "Boomsong", a typically Swedish name (not)! We suspect somewhere Oriental is the real source.

Bentalls are following John Lewis over a sofa that has suddenly started to show a hide mark. I have every confidence this will be solved.

Sofa Sofa remind me of Charlotte Church. They are no better than they ought to be, and come from Cardiff. We spent £80 in delivery charges, but the distance selling regulations mean their product came and went faster than it came.

Bentalls and John Lewis do not use a call centre. They use staff with an appreciation of customer needs. Next do try, but they are tyring to mix a catalogue call centre with a store operation and it doesn't yet cut the mustard.

Sofa Sofa use very cheerful call centre staff, they take responsibility for their actions, despite our not wanting Charlotte Church in our living room after we saw her.

Each of these is trying hard to win hearts and minds with customer service that's striving to be good. In Bentalls I spoke to the sales lady who served us. She takes it personally.

Oddly, despite totally rejecting poor Charlotte (who has nothing to do with the company, but does come from Cardiff) I rate Sofa Sofa more highly than Next for service. But this was cancelling an order under a law.

The best marketing from this - John Lewis, by a whisker

It was right under my nose

I've just added a hugely useful and sometimes controversial resource under "Useful Places", otherwise known as my blogroll. "Think Customers:The 1to1 Blog". It deals with the eternal triangle of Customer Service, Marketing, and CRM. As a great example you might want to look at "SprintNexTel Says 'You're Fired'." Wow, that says something about Marketing and Customer Service!

I've known and respected 1to1 for a long time now, I just somehow misplaced the fact that they have a blog in my mind.

Spammer seeks to justify spam

As usual I was spammed. I'm used to it. This person sent a nicely crafter B2B emailshot to my address here, an address that has been harvested for the precise purpose of spamming. When challenged this is what they said:

Our business development efforts are focused on contacting as many people in the UK as possible in the hope that companies would like to take advantage of our services. The search for new leads is both web based and phone based. Your information has come through that process.

So they focus(!) on as big a target as possible, do they?

It seems that they do:

The data used for our email campaign is data which I have gathered over the last 3 years in my sales role. I can guarantee that this data has not been bought or harvested. I though that the emails inputted where only B2B and apologise that you have received this email by mistake.

Now the apology is why I am not naming and shaming. But this is wasteful use of time and data. All this outfit has achieved is making me despise them. And they have had their IP address reported to anti-spam vigilante groups. Unwisely they use their own email server to send this trash out, and it doesn't take many annoyed people to start the blacklists running.

If only they would conduct a permission gathering campaign then they'd find that sales came far easier. Ah well, perhaps he's an inexperienced baby salesman.

Amazon used to get permissions right, didn't they?

I was reading Matt Cutts and his blog. He got spammed by them. See his blog and feel his scorn.

I was at a seminar a few months ago with an Amazonian in the audience. She explained how strong they are on permission based marketing.

Or not, it seems!

Telephone Selling of Individual Voluntary Arrangements

I have just received a call from a recorded message explaining that I can, with their advice, take advantage of the government legislation to discard 75% of my debts with an IVA. But my number is Telephone Preference Service registered, and this was a cold sales call.

They said they were called "Information Team", are a properly constituted limited company, and the call centre, holding none people, is based at a private house in Hampshire. They gave me a number to use to call them back of 0870 8291371. I shall not be calling them.

A search at Companies House reveals a company, but definitely NOT this company, as follows:

INFORMATION TEAM LTD
CHAPEL CROSS BARN
SOUTH CADBURY
YEOVIL
SOMERSET BA22 7ET
Company No. 05817815

I called them. They are nothing to do with this outfit, and were rather perturbed that they were being impersonated. The I-Team are a very nice reputable and professional organisation in an entirely different business

I loathe people like this (the set who called me, not the decent people).

I have reported them to the TPS. I will complain about them to the UK Information Chihuahua, and they will still carry on trading like this and making money.


There's an update: see Remember that bunch flogging IVAs?

Frustration, Frogs Leaping, IQ, Problem Solving

Sometimes we get hung up on things. We look at the same problem from the same direction, over and over and over again. Nothing that we do can force the leap of inspiration. It's as true with marketing as with mending a broken car.

Every so often friends get their own back on me by sending me things that require very simple thought. Every so often I overcomplicate them - don't we all? This annoyingly simple puzzle is one such. What's worse is that people say "This is solvable in three minutes." I think that makes it far harder!

The task is to find out how the frogs jump and to swap the frogs over
You do need Flash installed

I'm going to confess now that I failed to solve this one. I suspect all that says about me is "He failed to solve the frog puzzle." I was sent it by an ex colleague who told me that he'd solved it first time. I now must find something to send him to drive him up the wall!

This thing is so aggravating that someone's selling the solution to it. I like that! It shows a great marketing attitude. Pity they've been undercut by others offering the answer free of charge.

If you really want to know the answer I'll put it in a comment.

When Public Relations becomes Spam

Because I publish my email address on my blog I do expect my fair share of spam. I'm never disappointed. I get everything from people suggesting I am too small in the genitalia department to people who want me to fall for the Nigerian 419 scams. I'm a big boy, I can take it!

Today I had, out of the blue, a press release from a company I've never heard of regarding a product I have no interest in. It says:

Release Upgrade CryptoGraf Messaging v2.0 for Mobile SMS & MMS on Nokia N95, E61i and E65 in addition to over 50 smartphone devices

CryptoGraf Company Limited, an innovative mobile security software firm, today announced the availability of a significant application upgrade to CryptoGraf Messaging v2.0 which enables mobile peer to peer business and personal networking with security and integrity. Positioned for deployment of additional services in partnership with leading mobile operators and financial institutions, CryptoGraf continues to raise the bar at delivering usable, secure and cost-effective products for mobile privacy, banking and commerce.

There's a lot more. But the thing is, I have no idea what this is all about. If this were my field I'd be fine, but it isn't. I asked them why they had sent it to me. And, to their credit, they replied, including the words:

From reading your blogs, we realise that you are finely tuned to the needs for opt-in to advertisement.

Well, as any primary school child will tell you, "like, duhhhhhhhh!"

If one is a novice at PR then one really should use a PR agent - a good one. This press release, emailed to a random blogger, has achieved nothing at all. It's bad use of the blogosphere to use a scatter gun.

If, and it is a good idea to try this, if you want to use the power of those of us who blog, to promote your product or service, first woo us and win our hearts. Build a relationship with us, find out what interests us, find out what angle we can bring to bear on your exciting product or service.

In return we are likely to write articles that link to your website, directly to your product offering. And, because blogs tend to be highly indexed in search engines, people are likely to find your "stuff" more easily. Multiple blogs pointing to your site are good news. Multiple comments by other people on blogs tend, unless you are bad at what you do, to be good news.

I don't fool myself that I'm important enough for this blog post to be negative news, but this is not the type of article you want to generate. In fairness it doesn't matter at all, but how much better would be an article extolling the virtues of whatever that product was from whoever they were.

Carnival of the Mobilists #81

Live at Symbiano-Tek, we have the current "Carnival of the Mobilists". A great selection of articles this week. Not all are marketing, but all are worth a read.

Your Sysadmin can block the emails you want to receive

It seems like for ever ago, but it was back in February that I wrote about even permissioned marketing killing your business. The other side of the coin is interesting, too.

Let's say I work for a corporation with a diligent and conscientious system administrator. They're the type of person for whom nothing's too much trouble, and they manage the network's interaction with the outside world very well. The network is well firewalled and well spam protected. All is right with our world and we are secure and pretty spam free. The sysadmin uses all normal techniques to block spam, and also they keep their ear to the ground and block IP address ranges they see reported as spam sources.

You are a top quality enterprise and you use an outsourced email provider for your marketing campaigns. Unbeknown to you that provider's reputation is, rightly or wrongly, being discussed in forums as "tolerant of spammers". It doesn't matter if it's right or wrong, mud sticks.

Ages ago I signed up for your newsletters, and I'm very happy to receive other marketing stuff from you. You have my full permission to send me email marketing. [just in case some fool reads this and thinks he has my permission - he has not!].

My sysadmin reads the discussion about the email service provider you use and blocks all the IP addresses he can find that they use. Inbound email from those IP addresses just dies. Depending in the method chosen you may or may not receive a bounce message. So you may or may not know that I've stopped receiving your stuff.

My memory is lousy. If I don't get your newsletter I'm not going to remember it and go asking about it. Life's too short. If I recall it at all it is but a distant memory. But I do stop getting your newsletter. I get emails from you, of course I do. Your corporate IP address is not blocked, just that of your outsourcer. So I don't miss the newsletters.

But my sysadmin, doing their job well, has blocked emails that I want to receive, and that I agreed with you that you could send. They just cost me your invitation to drive fast cars round a racetrack at your trade promotion track day - you sent that via your outsourcer - and I wanted to do that very much, or would have if I'd known.

So do I chastise my sysadmin for doing the job too well?

Well, in days gone by, when my secretary protected me from all inbound sales messages of all descriptions, I could work with her (get over it, she was female, though a colleague had a male secretary) to refine what should and should not get past her. She reported to me. The sysadmin works in IT. I have no power to require that your emails get through. They argue that other people use that outsourcer, and the greater good is served by blocking it. I haven't a leg to stand on.

So, I can't chastise them, and I have no power to command them. In short I am stuck unless and until you use a different outsourcer.

But, and this is the point, I really have no idea about all this stuff. I don't even know I missed the track day! And yet you and I, we each did our best, and were tripped up by an (excellent) techie who is doing a really good job, but actually to both our disadvantages.

I guess the upside is that pretty much no-one has a secretary any more. You'd better phone me; unless I'm on voicemail you'll get through! We'll do lunch. You're selling, so you're buying!

Customer Service must not get Personal

I'm having a customer service experience at present. It illustrates the fact that a customer facing senior staff member in an NHS Trust does not seem to understand that his role is customer service, whatever else his job function.

If the NHS had to engage in marketing you can be assured that I would be voting with my feet and dying in some other trust. Perhaps that's his objective - ensure I die on someone else's patch!

The scenario is simple. My 88 year old mother is desperately unwell, and certain matters during her (currently 7 week) stay in hospital have given me sufficient cause for concern to raise a formal complaint against the NHS Trust for certain actions or inactions on its part. High on the list is her infection with Clostridium Difficile, a superbug, whose transmission is encouraged by infection control methods that are less than perfect and which are simple to bring up to government guideline standards.

I've been updating the Head of Corporate Affairs, quite a senior role, with what I observe as i visit the hospital. Recently he wrote me a letter. My perception of the letter is that it was patronising. He explained to me that it must be a "Very anxious and distressing time for (me), and particularly for (my) mother."

At first sight you may say "But that is charming. He recognises your anxiety and distress." I differ. I am not anxious, nor distressed. He has assumed (ASS of U and Me?) my state of mind and is incorrect. I have mentioned this to him as a matter of importance, because I perceive it as patronising (therefore it is patronising, perception being reality), and I wish for an apology.

This is where you discover, if you have not realised it already, that I am pedantic. Pedantry is what you need to have in spades as a consultant, especially in a challenging field like Data Privacy. It's a highly positive attribute, or so I keep telling myself!

He wrote back to me. He glossed over my needs, which were to receive an apology. I reminded hm of those needs and he told me "I regret that you found my letter to be patronising as this was never my intention." There is a difference between regret (I regret eating that last donut, I'm too fat) and apology (I am sorry I took that donut, I didn't realise you wanted to eat it).

Bear in mind we are talking about the Lord High Poo Bah who is in a customer facing role, and currently in a huge and difficult customer service issue. So far he is antagonising the customer, despite reminders to apologise. We have pride in our way. I admit to being proud myself, but not too proud to apologise when shown the error of my ways.

This saga is ongoing. He has requested a meeting with me, a meeting I am wholly willing to attend, along with his Director of Nursing Services. There is a more than strong suggestion on the table that he complete his very simple apology prior to that meeting. I expect, if this does not happen, it to be the first agenda item. So far he's managed four emails to me without actually apologising. I'm really wondering how many more it will take.

One of the first rules of customer service is not to make matters worse. We have a difficult enough situation between me and the NHS Trust without hurting the relationship. What he has achieved is to make the interchange one of personalities, not one of business The moment it gets personal the battle lines get drawn and trenches get dug. And the challenge he has is that he is in a position which is untenable and unwinnable.

While the customer may be incorrect, the overall experience must be a positive one. I can tell you clearly that his NHS Trust hospitals are ones I wish to avoid.

Returning to Matters Blue

I'm returning to my regular monitoring of terms to do with Spam and Bluetooth this month. With the mobile industry now providing better and better marketing techniques, and with the uptake of bluecasting, or proximity marketing, via your handset, I'm looking at the past 90 days and blog mentions of the terms, and I've added a few relevant terms.

For comparison the mentions, all mentions, of the term Spam are included. I really do hope this excludes the canned meat!

The graphs are presented together for you to draw your own conclusions. They are dynamic - they refresh whenever Technorati refreshes. They are the total of all blog posts recorded there with the terms and are thus likely to have statistical significance.

Posts that contain Bluespam per day for the last 90 days.


Posts that contain Bluecast per day for the last 90 days.


Posts that contain "Proximity Marketing" per day for the last 90 days.


Posts that contain Bluetooth per day for the last 90 days.


Posts that contain "SMS Marketing" per day for the last 90 days.


Posts that contain Spam per day for the last 90 days.


The question is, are we seeing trends?

It seems to me that we are probably not. I thought a while back that we were, but either "Bluespam" has passed on by and is irrelevant now, or it is accepted and acceptable. I'm not sure which.

Note: This blog article will result in a spike of 1 in all the terms it surveys, and thus its value should be subtracted from the figures.

80th Carnival of the Mobilists

I forgot to post this as soon as it was up. The 80th Carnival of the Mobilists is live at Mobile Jones. It is, as usual, an oasis of opinions in a sea of chaos.

Delusional Organisation Assumes Permissions

As many here know I am one of the moderation team on the JISCMail data protection discussion list. We discuss many things, mostly with a UK bent, often with global interest. We ask questions and give and receive answers to those seeking help or opinions. We're a pretty easygoing bunch, but one thing we take very seriously is privacy.

Today I was sent an email which contained this alarming paragraph:

"I recently starting receiving unsolicited e-mails from a company claiming to provide DP information, but also advertising a large number of their courses. I have a copy of the e-mail correspondence if required. After some effort and repeated e-mails, the company concerned finally admitted that I had not, as they said invited this contact, nor had my PA given consent when they rang. They put me on their mailing list because one of their "colleagues" had "helped me" with a DP question and had therefore deemed it appropriate to add me to their mailing list."

Obviously we're dealing with it internally to th list, but it made me wonder just how many people simply pay lip service to permissioning. This organisation, allegedly knowledgeable about the Data Protection Act 1998 and the Privacy and Electronic Communication Regulations, has chosen to believe that"Since correspondence with a staff member was happening, my colleague is fair game to be spammed"

It ain't so.

But this bunch trains on data protection. I wish I could name and shame them here, but my colleague is keeping their name, currently, to herself. I can tell you that I would not value their training, simply because of this incident